Thursday, December 08, 2005
Oh, the snow!
Current mood: thoughtful
My mom called today to tell me that there is a foot of snow outside their house and that "Da Pookies" have been playing in it. And tracking it inside the house.
It just makes me thankful that I don't live where there is snow anymore.
I was able to live with it for 20 years, so I kind of wonder what makes me hate the cold.
So, I've come up with several reasons why.
You have to wake up an extra 30 minutes to an hour to prep yourself for the possibility of frozen boogers when you have to scrape frost off your windows.
You have to don extra long legs, aka- snow shoes in my case, since I'm a little woman and you have to wade into the snow in order to shovel it.
You have to face the fact that your hair, nose, fingers and toes will freeze off at any moment.
There is also the possibility that your neighbors have dumped the snow from their driveway into yours, thus making it harder for you to shovel out a place for the cars to park.
If you're at work and there has been a snowstorm, there's always the fact it might take you HOURS to drive 5 miles from work to home as was my case a few years ago.
Which brings me to a story about working at the publishing house.
I worked at the publishing house two years ago. One February was the snowiest on record and this particular day the president of our company sent us home early because the forecasters kept saying "It's a doozy out there folks!"
When I got out to my car, there was already 5 inches of snow from that morning. So I started my car to warm it up, grabbed my ice scraper and began to brush snow off my car since it's against the law in Missouri and Kansas to have snow all over your car while driving. It's some sort of liability issue. It's ridiculous.
Anyway! So, I spent about 20 minutes brushing snow off my car. Meanwhile, the snow is falling fast and I get into my car to go home. I put my car in reverse and all I can hear is my tires spinning. So... I get out AGAIN! This time, I had to scrape the snow out from underneath my car so that I can back out. I'm laying there on my stomach, on 29th and Troost Avenue in Kansas City, Missouri, which, mind you, is a VERY BAD area of town. (Anyone from KC on both sides of the state line know not to go in that area after 5 pm.) All I'm doing is shoveling snow from underneath my car and my tires. And I could get shot at or mugged and have my car stolen.
I get back in my car and spend 10 minutes trying to back my car out, which I did successfully. In Kansas City, there are hills-HUGE hills. Trying to drive either up or down with snow and ice is just a tad difficult, so I decided to take the long way home which is flat and completely out of my way.
The publishing house is only 8 miles from my parents house, but it takes awhile to get to and from going the backroads.
I'm driving down Troost, all the while praying to God that I don't get stopped by somebody demanding my car or worse, pointing a gun at me. I'm the only one on the road, except for the homeless people.
I'm driving along as slow as possible and I see that I have a green light at the intersection of Troost and 43rd Street, which is beginning to get out the bad area. I'm thinking, "Hell yeah! thank you Lord!" I start to accelerate when all of a sudden there's a homeless guy crossing the street in front of me. All I can think of is, "WHAT THE HELL!!!! I'm the only person out here on the road. Wait until AFTER I go through!" I slow down to be the nice person that I am and I notice as I'm stopped, with the green light in front of me, that this man is wearing shorts. SHORTS!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER!!! and I noticed he was carefully picking his way across the crosswalk. I also noticed that his legs were VERY white. I thought, this poor black man is so cold because he's wearing shorts! As I observed him some more, I noticed the reason why his legs were white--they were prostethics.
All I could think of was how absurd this all was to me. So, as he finished walking across, I put my car in first, skidded some more, and was stopped because, guess what? my green light had turned red. So I sat there some more thinking, "Lord, why do I encounter the most random crap?! Answer this for me."
The light turned green and I slowly made my way to the next light where there was a Metro Bus stopped and surrounded by, guess what?! Cop cars, paramedics and fire engines. The reason I couldn't see this down the road was because in a snow storm, you can't see shit more than 10 feet in front of you. It's impossible.
The cop stopped me at yet another green light. He motioned for me to roll my window down and asked me where I was going. "I'm going to my house in Johnson County, where I live with my parents." Saying that you're from Jo. Co. in KC is your ticket anywhere. "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. It's just your car looked suspicious with those spray-painted hubcaps of yours." I rolled my eyes, and said "thank my dad for that one. he didn't like silver color that they were. But, since you've stopped me, can you tell me what's going on?"
Turns out that an attempted purse snatching on occured on the bus and the victim was a little old lady who had a heart attack and had to be carried out on a stretcher. The assailant was arrested by one of the cops and they were waiting for backup. The cop moved me along and I was on my merry way.
It took me two hours to drive 8 miles. Luckily I didn't have any more strange encounters, but when I got home, I wasn't able to park my car in the driveway because there was now a foot of snow. That's how fast it snowed. I had to park my car across the street. As soon as I got inside, my mother was impatient for me to give her the meal I had made at work that day. I was in such a bad mood that I was rude to her and told her to get her own damn meal.
I told her about my day and she had absolutely no sympathy for me. All she wanted was what we had made for lunch that day.
But, anyhow, that's over and done with and hopefully, I'll be living somewhere where there's no cold, snow or ice.
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