Identity Crisis?

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Identity Crisis?

Current mood:  drained

I am a Mutt.

Which brings me to...

In America, we are the Melting Pot of the World and the people we "produce" are some of the most diverse in the world.

But so many of us Mutts kind of have an Identity Crisis when it comes to the question--"Where Are You From?" or "What Ethnicity Are You?"

For me, I have to go through an immensely long list for those people that are really detailed. First, I have to tell them that I'm from Kansas. And the looks that I get from that entice them to ask them the stupid "Dorothy and Toto" jokes.

And then they ask, "Well, you look different. So where's your family from?"

I tell them--'Well, my dad is from Ecuador. And his dad was from Italy. And his mom's family came from Spain back in the 1800s. My mom's mom was from Scotland and was half Irish, whereas her dad came from Mexico and has some Aztec and Mestizo background"

And I also tell them that it gets more diverse beyond those nationalities.

But a problem arises when I am asked to choose, to really pinpoint, what I really am. The two most common that I choose are "I'm Ecuadorean" or "I'm Italian" I think I choose those two because of my full name. No one is going to believe me that I'm part Mexican and Scottish when I tell them my name.

However, it's my Scottish and Mexican genes that shine through. Both Scots and Mexicans are broad boned and have thick calves, which unfortunately I've been graced with (meaning that I can't wear knee high boots). Big hips, large chest, yada yada yada... Same old story.

I'm always confused when I show up at extended family member gatherings. For example, my cousins in Orlando. They are full on Ecuadoreans because they immigrated here. Whereas I am Americanized and don't speak Spanish as well as they do. There are times when I feel like I am not a member of the family--not because they're not welcoming (they are the most hospitable people), but because I feel like I'm missing something when they are all describing something that I've not seen or heard of. I feel like a lost puppy. Or if they're my relatives in El Paso, I feel left out when they're all talking about the latest news over in Juarez.

So, what am I really? I'm an American, but that's just too "blah" for me. I can't put the label "Latina" because I'll be asked, What kind are you? It reminds me of asking someone, "What flavor would like to sample today?"

But then it also brings me to what kind of a guy I'll end up with. I think about how I'd like to be able to teach my kids Spanish and make sure they speak it fluently. My sister Lourdes married Jeff, a Pennsylvania Dutch Boy. He speaks only English, but has picked up Spanish from my sister. Their kids at first spoke Spanish, but they lapsed into English since Jeff couldn't keep up.

It's important to learn other languages and keep up with them too, so I'd like for my kids to have that kind of advantage.

So, who's to know? The possiblities are endless.

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